I just wanna clarify something right now.
If I, should ask you about how you truly felt in a certain situation, and you did- I wouldn't think of you to be selfish for telling me how you feel, in fact it's good to honestly tell someone about how you feel instead of keeping it in and suppressing it until it turns into resentment. But then how is that different from telling someone, without being ask, about how a person makes you feel? It makes me wonder if only when asked is it alright to tell how a person truly feels. Is it selfish of me to tell the truth about my feelings? It's not and I'm not ashamed of being honest about how I feel. You know me well don't you? I don't stoop low just to make someone feel crappy about themselves and it's sad that some people actually think I do. The years that you know me, do I really have the heart or the attitude to do that? Like seriously. Well here's a reality check-I don't do that cause I care about how people feel even when some people keep telling me to not give a fuck. I'm sympathetic and empathetic and I care.
I swear I'm not a horrible person but people keep getting the wrong impression of me. I'm not sure if it's mine or their loss. Its upsetting cause I thought my friends know me best but when that friendship is tested they actually don't know a damn thing about you. The struggle you went through to get them a special gift for Christmas, the money you spent on making a homemade birthday present that wasn't even appreciated, the time you spent defending them whenever someone says something nasty and even giving them a shoulder to cry on when their heart got broken, all of it seems meaningless now.
"Friends tell you the truth no matter what. That's what friends are for because I have those in my life."-MB. I need to find friends like this. Not the kinds that keep making me upset and getting fooled by my fake smile. Sometimes people just need to step back, read between the lines and contemplate if their actions makes sense at all.