Paranoia

I am sorry..truly I am.

  

I don't know when I started to change into this envious person. I was never this person before this and now it seems that you keep seeing me in this state and I hate myself for it.

                                 

I used to be cool about it, I didn't give much thought of who was with and where. Naive they called me, too nice or just too damn blond to notice or even take a hint of what was happening and what happened scarred me for life.

I have taken away a valuable lesson from what has happened, but it also left me insecure and paranoid. I have no other reason explaining why I am like this. I have no ill will against anyone despite these feelings, I just need to know history won't repeat itself because I don't think I can handle a second wave of heartache if anything happened. 

Paranoid, I know.  And I am really sorry for everything.

Graduated

Hey- ho, so long haven't blog already :O 

Many apologies to my readers who have continuously been checking on my blog to end up in utter disappointment in no new post! (ceh,if got la :p) I'm back now cause la-di-da I'm on holiday and I'm bored as a monkey sniffing its own butt.

So..what's new..

for one thing 

I graduated from INTEC!

Like finally dude :D        

I won't post a lot of my pictures here because that day of all days I look so horrible. =.= I don't know what the hell I was doing but I didn't get enough sleep and ended up waking with these horrid looking eye bags.

Anyway,

That's me! 

with the new INTEC Director, Puan Fauziah, she is mighty friendly :D 

and guess who showed up to my graduation?

Guess..guess..guess..

Ta-ta-ta-ta-da!

~It's Ian~

Thank you for sacrificing so much to come to my graduation, it meant a lot to me that you came :)

After graduation, like other normal newly graduates, we took photos for old time sakes. 

Try spotting me, I bet you can't!

With the indians and their girlfriends, awww~

 thaya and zhi yu are with me hohohoho!

Lady Engineers :D 

It was fun, it was the second last major event that my comrades and I had together before parting ways. There will be no emo statement in this post, lets safe that for our last major event together :D 

I'm currently watching Chuck now and it is so superbly funny and it's kinda cool. I always thought it was lame cause Zachary Levi is acting the love struck character that let his emotions run his being every time. But then its ok I guess, he got control of it and got cooler and he cut his hair :D Yvonne Strahovski is super hot and I'm starting to like her. Not in a lesbian way of course. Teehee~

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A locked room never strike me like a good place before, but now it seems like the perfect getaway from everything. It’s peaceful being alone with my thoughts and feelings.

I don’t want to be known as needy or selfish. I’ll be content with how things are and I won’t ask anything more from you. I’ll give you no more of my burdens, worries and insecurities. Just do what you want and need to do and I’ll be out of your way. All I ask in return is you be well and safe. I’ll always be here if u need me, but it won't feel the same anymore. 

Lagu Kita

It has been awhile since a Malay song could make me cry. This one is called Lagu Kita by Aizat Amdan. Super nice and super emo. 

Deras hati ku berdetar
Di langit aku terlihatkanmu
Terang malam.... teman kita
Dengan angin meniup sayu

Ku petik gitar akustik ini
Dengan harapan dia mendengar
Melodi indah yang ku cipta
Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya

Dan aku terus
Menyanyi lagu ini untukmu
Walau berjuta mendengar
Lagu ini hanya untukmu
Arah hidup kita
Digambar bintang di angkasa
Dan berkelip melukis cinta
Terciptalah Lagu Kita

Melodi indah yang ku cipta
Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya

Terciptalah lagu kita..

*Sobs* T.T

The 11th of March

I am so very relieved that its Friday. It has been such a long week of studying and presentations that I actually messed up the dates. I'm so glad that its overrrrrrr... now i can finally go home and relaxed a little.

My laptop is so damaged. It was gonna take RM1009.53 just to repair it. Like seriously..1009?and 53 cents? why is the cents even there. So in the end i didn't send it in for repair. Crazy money sucking people.

I have a million things to say but I can't seem to think of anything that's appropriate to say now other than I hurt myself the other day. I have like a 1cm cut on my right cheek and every time I tell people how I got it i feel its so unrealistic. Like..I cant believe that happened. you know. I gonna hit the sack that night when I notice my bolster was out of its casing, so I push it in and somehow, when I was pushing it back into the casing there was like this repelling force and I actually sucker punch my own face. It really hurt, my cheek was numb for a moment. It didn't help that my nails were long. Now i'm mark because of my laziness to cut my nails for the rest of my life. T.T

I wonder whats new in Bintulu. I'm excited. I wanna go to the beach and just feel the breeze. Let the wind whip my hair back so that I can feel like I'm heroine in some love story. lol. But serious I miss home, I homesick here ok.  I'm currently watching this Japanese drama, Taiyo No Uta. I just found out that the heroine is the same actress from One Litre Of Tears. So sad la, she always act as the sick dying person who inspires people to live their dreams and live life to the fullness. She really got the sick and dying act down, its so believable. 

Ok, i'm rambling now. I should just go sleep. Good night peeps who read my blog. I hope I'll update  soon, I kinda miss writing about random stuff.  

Retired? NOT!

My laptop is sent to HP center for repair and its gonna take one week for it to be fixed and that's not even the bad news. My pictures, my saved conversations, my assignments, Physics Chemistry and Ethics slides, university essays..Everything is gone T.T So sad! I cuss myself for not having a backup for all those things. Note to self: Please get yourself an external. =.= Sigh. I'm not looking forward to the bill.

I can't wait to blog about Pangkor and Perak. I had so much fun when I was there! Thank you Liyana sebab ajak saya balik rumah awk! Best sangat :D I finally got to go to Kellis Castle. Some may think its lame but I had so much fun there. I felt like Taylor Swift in Love Story minus the dress and Romeo.

Some sad stuff happened too. Made me so stress my pimples are popping out. Gah. I hate being a teenager sometimes, hormones are all messed up to the max. But I gotta say, after all the sadness resided, I think it made me more mature. I'm actually grounding myself for being so irresponsible and stupid. Sigh. I made a fool of myself big time. I promise not to cause trouble to anyone anymore and to act more like my age, I'm turning 20 for crying out loud. I gotta start acting my age.

Exams are coming up this week. NEED.TO.STOP.PROCRASTINATING. =.= Time to get the nerd mode on. Ciao.

Nom nom nom

I have been meaning to stay at Liyana's house for a while now and I got to do just that this Chinese New Year break :) We have been talking about what we could do, what we could cook and where we could go if I stayed with her and I gotta say that I quite enjoy my stay.

I'm so excited cause I wanna show you guys pictures of the food we cooked!!

#1

We did not cook this. Inilah Laksa Sarawak :D
One of Angela's friends bought this heavenly food for us. There was a handful of shredded chicken and a few fresh prawns in this bowl and the kuah was so sweet. Super good laksa. Thank you Michelle! It was delish!





#2

Chicken Soup with carrots and big onions. 

Liyana cooked this dish and it was so flavorful.

#3

The next day we made Spaghetti, Mauritanian style :D

Liyana learned this recipe from one of her mum's students whose from Mauritania. 

Tada! Spaghetti with slices of Cheese on top :D

I'm not a huge fan of Spaghetti but I absolutely love this dish. Instead of the usual spaghetti where you prepare the tomato sauce first and then pour it on the spaghetti, this dish is prepared by mixing the spaghetti and sauce straightaway. The sauce so much nice, a bit of everything It's nicer, so so so much nicer and I refuse to take my spaghetti any other way now.

#4

Anchovies, Omelette with tomato and onions and Pekasam (Fermented Fish) :D

We had this with porridge.

#5

Ayam Masak Halia, Daun Ubi and BUTTER PRAWNS!!

Me and Liyana so excited that the butter prawns turn out well. Haha :D

#6

Begedil @ Potato Patty

Look at it! Seriously look at i! Its hugeeee! They usually sell so expensive at mamak's or cafe's,they should sell them in velvet pouches. lol. 

Anyway, its really nice. Cukup rasa and all. and its huge!!

#7

Beef Curry :D

#8

 

Last but not least, Bread Pudding top with raisins and chocolate chips :D

It was super yummy, you could taste the cinnamon and milk. Damn nice.

Thats all for now, gonna post about my Pangkor trip soon. 

Good night :)