The Big '2'

Happy 2 Year Anniversary!

Time flies by so fast now that we’re looking back to the time we had our first date. The past two years have been great baby. You have been wonderful, amazing, sweet, patient, gentle and most important, you’ve been real. I love how when things were going rough, you were there with a first aid kit to patch things up or when I’m being unreasonable and childish you just set me straight. I know I don’t always thank you when you do that, but thank you baby, I really appreciate it :)

  

Its been 2 years.24 months.1 051 897.53 minutes. 63 113 851.9 seconds.  I enjoyed most of the time that we were together babe, the rest I ain't so fond of cause of the occasional fights we have :p  but still..

I love you Ian Shafizal, Happy Anniversary :)

 

Smash into rubbles.

Being home, I'm suppose to cherish my time here because I'm leaving my family, friends and my comfort zone. But honestly, I know I'm gonna sound horrible but I just can't wait to get the hell out of here. Don't get me wrong I'll miss my family dearly, maybe cry occasionally cause I want my mummy and the comfort of home but nothing is really holding me back here except for them cause know why? wanna know why?? cause FRIENDS COME AND THEY GO.

It's been two years since secondary school. What could have possibly changed? Apparently, everything did. Are we just too grown up, too fucking cool for each other that we can't be the way we were? Please la. I know people change with their new surroundings, I did. I changed a lot, for better and for worse but still I won't forget a friend that I've been close to and I appreciate that they were in my life. But for some people that's just not important. Distance, for some, kills their friendship, it just ruins it.

It's inevitable, it's foreseeable and it's disappointing. I know I'm slow in learning this, in my head I grow old with my friends. I guess I hate being forgotten, like I was insignificant in their lives. Not to say that I wanna make a huge impact on people, just one that would make them thought that I was worth befriending. I don't even know if this makes sense for you readers but it's how I feel at the moment.

Sigh. 7 days left.

Paranoia

I am sorry..truly I am.

  

I don't know when I started to change into this envious person. I was never this person before this and now it seems that you keep seeing me in this state and I hate myself for it.

                                 

I used to be cool about it, I didn't give much thought of who was with and where. Naive they called me, too nice or just too damn blond to notice or even take a hint of what was happening and what happened scarred me for life.

I have taken away a valuable lesson from what has happened, but it also left me insecure and paranoid. I have no other reason explaining why I am like this. I have no ill will against anyone despite these feelings, I just need to know history won't repeat itself because I don't think I can handle a second wave of heartache if anything happened. 

Paranoid, I know.  And I am really sorry for everything.

Graduated

Hey- ho, so long haven't blog already :O 

Many apologies to my readers who have continuously been checking on my blog to end up in utter disappointment in no new post! (ceh,if got la :p) I'm back now cause la-di-da I'm on holiday and I'm bored as a monkey sniffing its own butt.

So..what's new..

for one thing 

I graduated from INTEC!

Like finally dude :D        

I won't post a lot of my pictures here because that day of all days I look so horrible. =.= I don't know what the hell I was doing but I didn't get enough sleep and ended up waking with these horrid looking eye bags.

Anyway,

That's me! 

with the new INTEC Director, Puan Fauziah, she is mighty friendly :D 

and guess who showed up to my graduation?

Guess..guess..guess..

Ta-ta-ta-ta-da!

~It's Ian~

Thank you for sacrificing so much to come to my graduation, it meant a lot to me that you came :)

After graduation, like other normal newly graduates, we took photos for old time sakes. 

Try spotting me, I bet you can't!

With the indians and their girlfriends, awww~

 thaya and zhi yu are with me hohohoho!

Lady Engineers :D 

It was fun, it was the second last major event that my comrades and I had together before parting ways. There will be no emo statement in this post, lets safe that for our last major event together :D 

I'm currently watching Chuck now and it is so superbly funny and it's kinda cool. I always thought it was lame cause Zachary Levi is acting the love struck character that let his emotions run his being every time. But then its ok I guess, he got control of it and got cooler and he cut his hair :D Yvonne Strahovski is super hot and I'm starting to like her. Not in a lesbian way of course. Teehee~

Untitled

A locked room never strike me like a good place before, but now it seems like the perfect getaway from everything. It’s peaceful being alone with my thoughts and feelings.

I don’t want to be known as needy or selfish. I’ll be content with how things are and I won’t ask anything more from you. I’ll give you no more of my burdens, worries and insecurities. Just do what you want and need to do and I’ll be out of your way. All I ask in return is you be well and safe. I’ll always be here if u need me, but it won't feel the same anymore. 

Lagu Kita

It has been awhile since a Malay song could make me cry. This one is called Lagu Kita by Aizat Amdan. Super nice and super emo. 

Deras hati ku berdetar
Di langit aku terlihatkanmu
Terang malam.... teman kita
Dengan angin meniup sayu

Ku petik gitar akustik ini
Dengan harapan dia mendengar
Melodi indah yang ku cipta
Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya

Dan aku terus
Menyanyi lagu ini untukmu
Walau berjuta mendengar
Lagu ini hanya untukmu
Arah hidup kita
Digambar bintang di angkasa
Dan berkelip melukis cinta
Terciptalah Lagu Kita

Melodi indah yang ku cipta
Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya

Terciptalah lagu kita..

*Sobs* T.T

The 11th of March

I am so very relieved that its Friday. It has been such a long week of studying and presentations that I actually messed up the dates. I'm so glad that its overrrrrrr... now i can finally go home and relaxed a little.

My laptop is so damaged. It was gonna take RM1009.53 just to repair it. Like seriously..1009?and 53 cents? why is the cents even there. So in the end i didn't send it in for repair. Crazy money sucking people.

I have a million things to say but I can't seem to think of anything that's appropriate to say now other than I hurt myself the other day. I have like a 1cm cut on my right cheek and every time I tell people how I got it i feel its so unrealistic. Like..I cant believe that happened. you know. I gonna hit the sack that night when I notice my bolster was out of its casing, so I push it in and somehow, when I was pushing it back into the casing there was like this repelling force and I actually sucker punch my own face. It really hurt, my cheek was numb for a moment. It didn't help that my nails were long. Now i'm mark because of my laziness to cut my nails for the rest of my life. T.T

I wonder whats new in Bintulu. I'm excited. I wanna go to the beach and just feel the breeze. Let the wind whip my hair back so that I can feel like I'm heroine in some love story. lol. But serious I miss home, I homesick here ok.  I'm currently watching this Japanese drama, Taiyo No Uta. I just found out that the heroine is the same actress from One Litre Of Tears. So sad la, she always act as the sick dying person who inspires people to live their dreams and live life to the fullness. She really got the sick and dying act down, its so believable. 

Ok, i'm rambling now. I should just go sleep. Good night peeps who read my blog. I hope I'll update  soon, I kinda miss writing about random stuff.